The spit from 1000 ft up on the hill. #homer #alaska

I don’t like cake. I don’t understand why cakes are eaten when pie exists. Having said that. I did enjoy this. #birthdaycake #davidstea

UBE a terrible effing driver.

Whenever I see this, I can only picture Gordie screaming at Vern to move his ass when the train is coming. I assume the other kids are the ones who failed to outrun the train. #StandByMe #GordieLachance #VernTessio

Classic example of the blatant laziness I get to enjoy everyday at work. #overinflatedsenseofentitlement #apparentlyimthemaid

Welcome to your new home. Here you will have a place of prestige and honor. You will never again find yourself abandoned on a thrift store shelf. #foreverhome

Handicapped and lazy aren’t the same thing.

Julie Newmar pretty much just made my life right now. #julienewmar

All these flowers in bloom and the smell of fresh cut grass. It’s enough to make you wanna puke.

Spring cleaning.

TODAY IS THE SINGLE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!! AH LIZA!!! ❤❤❤❤ #lizaminnelli

I bet those asterisks mean that I’m not getting a real baby gorilla. Stupid asterisks… #dianfossey gorillafund.org

I love coming home to mail. Especially when it’s an autograph on a picture of a popcorn bucket. SERENITY NOW! #jerrystiller #seinfeld

New Amelia Earhart artwork by @artsyshartsy ❤✈

I feel you little buddy. Nobody likes sitting in traffic.